Why Are You Unhappy? 14 Factors That Eliminate The Joy In Your Life

5 mins read
Why am i unhappy

Most of the people will experience a stage in life when they can’t really find the joy and being unhappy in their life.

If you currently feel that you have a sucky life and loss of life direction, then this article is for you!

It is undeniable that everyone wants to be happy. Although it sounds simple and straightforward, happiness is very subjective and it actually affected by our own mindset.

Hence, if you could eliminate below factors of unhappiness, you will get yourself feel much better. Let’s begin.

1. Set Unrealistically High Expectations

A lot of people set an unrealistic goal and expectation in their life, including work, business, life goals, and relationship.


When talking about career and life goals, having a high target and goal is good, in term of keeping them move forward in life. However, it should be done in a realistic plan and expectation. For instance, if you want to lose weight, don’t set an expectation that you could lose 30kg in a month.

Set an unrealistically high expectation will just make you end up in disappointment.

2. You Have Unrealized Dream

If you’re asking yourself “why am i unhappy?”, maybe one of the reason is you still have unrealized dream that you’re still working on.

Everyone has a dream, from escaping 9 to 5 jobs, own a luxury car and houses, and others.

Having these unrealized dream sometimes will bother your mind which affect your happiness as well.


If you still have unrealized dream, just take it easy. Enjoy the process and remain on track!

3. You Believe Everyone Should Play By Your Rule

If you think A is correct, it doesn’t mean B is wrong. This indeed not a healthy mindset. People with this mindset, will just complain a lot in their life.

Sometimes, it is just our own perspective and mindset that creates unhappiness in our life. All you need to do, is turn down your ego and don’t make unnecessary complication!

4. Don’t See Any Result from Their Work

There is a famous quotes: “Once you see the result, it will become an addiction”. But, how if things goes the other way? For instance you’ve spent months, and even years of hard working and still no result.

It is indeed very frustrating if you can’t see the result of your work, even after your blood and tears spent in hardworking. Or, maybe it also could be frustrating if there is no recognition or reward of your work.


One of the hardest way to stay consistent is when things doesn’t show any result. You’ve might started to think that all your effort is just wasted.

Well, it could take a year, or even 5 years for you to hustle. But it will come one moment that will change your life forever. Stay consistent and don’t let this thing make you unhappy.

5. Get Used to What You Have and Want More

It is a nature that human will never satisfy of what they have. Now, you might think that if you reach some certain level in your life, you will definitely get satisfaction. Trust me, it won’t!

This explain why earning $75K is pretty good compare to earning minimum wage. But when you compare with your friend that earn $250K, your satisfaction will decline.

According to Mike in his published article, he mentioned that if you want a happiness, you should maintain a constant grateful and standard, no matter any changes in your conditions or environment.


Therefore, try not to compare your life with others and you’ll get the joy back in your life.

6. Hope That Other People Will Make Them Happy

Happiness won’t come if you’re expecting other people to make you happy.

For instance, in a relationship, you might expect your partner will do things that you’ve seen in the romance movie or series. Or maybe, you’re expecting your friends, family for giving a positive vibes to you.

If you want to be happy, never hope others to create one for you. Instead, create your own happiness from yourself and spread the positive vibes to the surrounding.

7. Get Rid of Toxic Environment

Environment is one of the crucial factors that can shape your personality, mindset, and happiness. If you have a good and positive environment, you’ll turn into a happy and positive person. Otherwise, if you’re surrounded by toxic people, you’ll end up become toxic and unhappy.


This facts supported by recent study that environment has a high influence on human’s personality.

If you have toxic circle of friendship, it is time for you to find a new friends. If you have toxic environment in the place where you live, time to stay away! Don’t let the toxic environment drive your happiness away.

8. Always Blaming on External Factors

Blaming other factors except your own selves is always been the easiest options to do. This is because, it easier to throw a bad things to others instead of taking responsibility of it.

These are some of the examples:

  • “I was late because of the jam”, you could think: “I should wake up earlier this morning”.
  • “I’m not rich because i was born in the poor family, you could think: “I will be the first billionaire in my family”.

After you corrected your mindset, you’ll find yourself more relief and find the joy in your life.


9. Insecurity

Worry too much or overthinking  will also cause the unhappiness in your life. As your mind have these negative and fear thoughts, it will cause unpeaceful mind.

Sometimes, you did not realize that you’re having this insecurity until someone tell you. Hence, you can ask your close friends or families and ask their opinion if they spotted insecurity in yourselves.

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.” – Mark Twain

10. Hold Anger

There are actually two types of patience people. One that don’t really put into their mind if somebody insult them. And another one is the people who actually hold their anger.

If you are the second one, it could be dangerous for your mental health. The reason is, when you hold all the angers it accumulate the negative thought inside your mind. By doing so, it worsen your mental health and definitely affect your happiness.

Sometimes, when you receive comments that trigger or insult you, it is better to tell them the second thought. Don’t hold and accumulate all the anger inside you. The person who criticized you is probably having a great time without giving you a second thought.


11. Compare Yourself With Others

Comparing your own selves with others will never get enough. For instance, if you compare your current car now with your friend that driving Mercedes or Audi, you’ll not satisfied. And after you getting Audi, you’ll see other people driving sports car.

A piece of tips, stop comparing yourself with others. This also apply for beauty appearance. The point is, just love yourself more.

12. You’re Stuck With Your Past

Some people has a bad past that leave them trauma memories and haunt them for a long time. Indeed, this past is not something that can be easily driven away.

However, living in the past is not a good thing to live with. If you want to be happy, you must try your best to get rid of your past and move on with your life. Live the present and leave the past behind.

13. You Don’t Like What You’re Doing

Some people stuck in their 9 to 5 job every single day, and actually spent 70 percent of their life to do something that they don’t like.


Doing something that we don’t like can actually have an impact to our mental life. Otherwise, doing something that you like will produce a positive vibes and spirit. You’ll never get tired and exhausted for doing something that you like.

14. Care Too Much of What Other People Think

As a human, we live for our own selves. Other people will always have something to say about you, no matter what is your condition.

If live on and care too much about what other people think, you’ll never find the joy in your life.

Bottom Line

If you find yourselves hard to fix all the above factors and still feel unhappy, maybe it is time to go for psychiatrist.

Hopefully this article can help you to find what are the causes of the unhappy that you’re facing, and get back the joy in your life.