10 Tips to Build Intimacy With Your Spouse

4 mins read
how to build intimacy with your spouse

Maintaining intimacy in a romantic relationship is very important and sometimes challenging. Of course you don’t want your relationship to end like that, right? Therefore, it is necessary to do several ways to build back intimacy with your spouse. Here are some tffips for you:

1. Show Appreciation

We all hate it when we do something but it doesn’t get appreciated. Just a thank you that sounds simple but can mean deeply to someone. This can also be felt by our partners. If we do not give appreciation, then the partner can be upset and it is dangerous for the survival of the relationship.

If you don’t want bad things to happen and you want the relationship to run smoothly, don’t be lazy to give appreciation. A thank you if you have been helped or a great compliment to your partner can make your partner’s heart bloom. Maybe later you will also get appreciation from your partner someday.

2. Give Surprise

Surprise your spouse with a romantic surf and turf dinner at home. There is no one who does not like being given a surprise, especially if you do it with your partner. The surprise in question is not only fixated on the gift, but it could be a vacation ticket for the two of you abroad or it could be an invitation to a candle light diner in a romantic restaurant accompanied by live music.

Surprises like this that can make intimacy in a relationship can be maintained. If each of you are too busy with work and it’s difficult to go on vacation together, you can also try giving a surprise dinner together or giving your partner a favorite item. When there is a small fight, giving a surprise can also defuse it.


3. Don’t Stop Experimenting

Love relationships must be maintained in order to last. There are many things that can be tried so that the fire of romance continues to burn. Each individual certainly has a unique and interesting idea in terms of build intimacy with your spouse. The problem is whether they dare to try the idea or not.

Never be afraid to try out the ideas you have in mind. Keep experimenting about what makes your partner happy. Because it must be admitted that the longer the relationship lasts, the boredom will appear. To prevent boredom, each partner must be creative in creating ideas and realizing them. When you are afraid and lazy to experiment, that’s when the relationship will be at stake.

4. Give Support

In a romantic relationship, you are not always in a happy state. There will be ups and downs in a relationship or in other words there will be joy, there will also be anger, and sadness. In this angry and sad moment, this is a crucial moment because if the right thing is not done, it is not uncommon for a relationship to fail.

When you see your beloved partner is having problems and is down, then as a couple you must provide support. What kind of support can be provided, for example giving your ears to hear what problems are being faced and offering help so that these problems can be resolved.

5. Holding Hands

Sometimes there are people who find it difficult to say “I love you” to their partner. Even though the words “I love you” can be a sign that he really loves her but because of shyness, these simple but romantic words can’t be said. But that’s not the only action you can take to show affection and love.


If you are too shy and find it difficult to say the words “I love you”, you can outsmart it by holding your hand. By holding your partner’s hand, it shows that you really care and love him. Your partner will also know that you are shy and difficult to talk to, but because there is a touch of the hand from the person he loves can make his mood even more happy.

6. Maintain Communication

Lack of communication can even be considered you do not care about your partner. No matter how busy you are, taking the time to text your partner is a must to keep the relationship warm.

Just asking what’s going on or throwing jokes over chat can keep the relationship going normally. Don’t be lazy to send a short message to your partner if you want the relationship to continue. If you really love and care, no matter how busy you are, there must be time to ask how your partner is doing.

7. Spend Time With Your Partner

If anyone thinks money is important, think again. Money can still be gained back, but there is one thing that if lost, it will be lost forever. Nothing can replace that. What is meant is none other than time. Time loss can never come back. Since time is precious, make sure to make the most of it.

As long as there is time, use it with your partner. It’s okay to be busy with activities, but remember if you have made a promise together, then your life is no longer alone but together. To keep it that way, there has to be some time spent together. Watch a romantic movie, have a romantic dinner, go for a walk together in a place that you have visited when you were dating.


8. Trying Something New

Boredom is something that will be experienced by all couples. The early years may still be the year of a warm relationship, but when it’s a dozen or even decades, boredom can arise. If you are looking for a way out, then one partner or even both parties start to look at other people.

To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to do something new in the relationship. What has been done, does not need to be repeated. Instead, you have to find something new so you can rekindle the fire of romance. By trying something new, it will find something new too.

9. Sex

One of the important points to maintain intimacy in a marital relationship is sex. Lack of frequency in having sex can make the mood so chaotic. It could be that the disappointed party will look for an outlet to other people or in other words, cheating.

Do not forget about sex because this can be a way to build intimacy with your spouse. Whether scheduled or sudden, sex can make the mood happy and also make those who were angry become angry again. This is because when having sex, the body will produce hormones that can make the body and mind relax and be happy.

10. Date More Frequent

Marriage does not mean the end of everything. Getting married also doesn’t mean you stop trying to keep the relationship warm. Not a few couples complain that their partners are no longer like when they were dating. This raises problems that can later threaten married relationships.


Even though you are married and the status is husband and wife, it does not mean you are not allowed to date. Precisely dating should still be done even though they are married. This is done so that the “you who are now are no longer the same as before”. Dating every month can be one of the tips to build intimacy in a relationship with your spouse.